3 reasons why you should date a nurse

1: You don't have to pay for her abortion in case she gets pregnant.

2: She wears an uniform.

3: She will stay with you when you are sick.

Fun things to do when your ticket is not confirmed and you are stuck with RAC

Fun things to do when your ticket is not confirmed and you are stuck with RAC:

1: Mark your territory. Don't let the co passenger move even a little in your territory. Feel free to invade his.

2: Beg. Make excuses and try to emotionally blackmail the co passenger to sleep on ground and let you sleep peacefully.

3: Ladies First. Tell the co passenger that you used to be a girl before operation.

4: Try to convince him to go for a Toss that who keeps the whole berth.

Fantastic four and HIMYM crossover fanfiction. Chapter 1{Revised}

It’s the year 2015. No. The kids haven’t yet found that who their mother is. And another big ‘No’. The world hasn’t ended yet. Marshall, Lily, Barney and Ted went on a picnic at moon. Robin couldn’t go at the last moment. Their aircraft crashed as a result of cosmic explosion. The exposure to cosmic rays gave them superpowers. The gang has just found out that they have got superpowers now. Robin is coming to see them in hospital.

{In Hospital}

Barney: “Why can’t I get a mirror here?”

Ted and Marshall’s eye meet. They couldn’t tell it to Barney. Could they?

Marshall:{excitedly} “We are the new fantastic four now. I am Mr Fantastic. Lily is the invisible woman.”

Robin: “And Ted is the Thing.” His laugh dies out as he looks at his hands.

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo”

Ted: “Come on Barney. You are the strongest of us.”

Barney: “And when do I get to meet She-hulk? High Five Ted. Wait let me count. I am not sure if I have five fingers anymore. Why God Why? ”

{Enters Robin}

Ted: “What happened to your eyes?”

Robin: “Remember the accident? I couldn’t go to the moon because of that. And who the hell is he?”

Barney: “Hi.”

Marshall{Trying to cheer Barney up}: “Robin is Thing’s blind girlfriend Alicia.”

Robin: “I am not blind.”

Lily: “How many fingers am I holding?”

Robin: “Where the hell are you? I can’t see you?”

Marshall: “Told you. You are going blind.” The gang laughs a scary laugh.

Lily: “She is your blind girlfriend Barney.”

Ted: “But she will marry the Human torch in the end.”

Robin: “What are you talking about?”

Ted: “Our spaceship met an accident. Now we have got superpowers. Like Fantastic Four.”

Robin: “Who the hell is fantastic four?”

Ted: “They are superheroes. Don’t you have comics in Canada?”

Robin: “Of course we have comics in Canada. Nelvana is the first Candian female Super hero. And the greatest of the superheroes is Captain Canada.”

The gang suppresses laughter. Robin notices that and starts speaking again nervously.

Robin: “And for your information, Wolverine is Canadian.”

Barney: “And where is Lily. I haven’t seen her for a while.”

Lily: “I am the invisible woman. Remember.” Lily makes herself visible as if she was waiting for someone to ask.

Robin: “I knew it. I am not blind.”

Marshall extends his hands and covers the naked body of Lily.

Marshall: “Put on some cloth darling.”

Lily: “Why can’t these clothes disappear and reappear with me?”

Barney: “Aww. You still have a great figure Lily. If I wasn’t the Thing, I would have massive erection by now.”

Lily{blushing} : “Thank you.”

Robin: “You mean to say that everyone except me has superpowers now.”

Ted: “Yeah. And I am the human torch. Flame on.”

Robin: “I should have been in that cosmic explosion. I am the toughest of you all.”

Ted: “But you couldn’t be a superhero. You are Canadian. Remember?”

Marshall: “OMG. The sky is getting dark. Galactus is attacking.”

Everyone tries to peek out of the window.

Robin: “ Thats not Galactus. These are clouds. Its going to rain soon.”

Ted{excitedly}: “There he is. Silver Surfer.”

Robin: “He is not Silver Surfer. He is just a boy on skate board. What the hell is wrong with you guys?”

Ted acts disappointed when he finds that it was really a boy on skateboard.

Ted: “I really want some action. It is so cool man. Marshall, You are Mr Fantastic. Why don’t you build a space ship for us.”

Marshall laughs nervously as Lily becomes invisible and kisses him.

{Enters a panicked nurse}

Nurse: “There is a lady down the street. She is crushing everything with her big boobs.”

Barney: “Its clobbering time.”

{Five minutes later}

Big breasted lady has destroyed the roads. The gang has reached on scene.

Barney: “ Are those real?”

Big Breasted lady: “Die.”

One of the breasts shoots milk in Barney’s eye. He becomes blind for a second. The second breast strikes him with full force and he collapses.

The big breasted lady {BBL} throws a tissue at Marshall.

BBL: “Its breast cancer. It will grow at alarming rate and soon cover you. You will suffocate to death.”

Marshall begans stretching with the breast cancer. Ted throws fire at the breast cancer but Marshall starts burning.

HOW WILL BBL BE DEFEATED?

WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

Which is the first episode of South Park in which Kenny didnt die?

Movie Review : Agneepath

While watching the new Agneepath, instead of remembering the original one, I had a nostalgic moment about some of the vampires movies I saw. In the climax, when the bald Sanjay Dutt drags Hrithik Roshan to the banyan tree the passage could easily qualify for a vampire flick.

Priyanka Chopra was needless in the movie. It was her movie and Katrina Kaif stole the show, not that there was much to steal.

Such was the movie that during one of Hrithik-Priyanka conversation, the power failed. No one shouted for the power to be back on. This was the second time I have seen this in a cinema hall after Kyun ho gaya na.

Points: 10/10000000.

Fantastic 4 Knocked Up Nancy Drew | Funny Sign Pictures

Fantastic 4 Knocked Up Nancy Drew | Funny Sign Pictures:

'via Blog this'

The Fantastic Four from sycojp

The Fantastic Four from sycojp:

'via Blog this'

Break up jokes.

Me and my girlfriend split up.

Its great being an amoeba.

Ranga De Basanti Cola

I am a very big fan of Flipkart. Every third book I buy is from Flipkart. Today I came across a really awkward mistake of theirs. I was browsing through their hindi books collection and they have listed Bhism Sahni's "Rang de Basanti Chola" as "Ranga de Basanti Cola."

at: http://www.flipkart.com/author/bhishm-sahni

Its funny for some time but for fans of hindi like me, it hurts a little.

My first poem this year

From http://createcremate.blogspot.in/2012/01/aapse-hamari-ye-shikayat-rahegi.html

आपसे हमारी ये शिकायत रहेगी 

आप के बिना हर पल

अब न जीने लायक रहेगी.

यु ही मुस्कुरा कर छीन ली 

आप ने हमारी आज़ादी 

और यूँ ज़िन्दगी भर की सजा दी.

काश आप हम से मिले न होते

काश हम ये ज़िन्दगी अंजानो की तरह बिता देते 

जी जाते हम एक फीकी ज़िन्दगी 

और मालूम भी न पड़ता की ये ज़िन्दगी फीकी है.

The most romantic kiss

Can anyone guess the movie from which it is taken?

Which is your favorite episode of South Park?

Which is your favorite episode of South Park?

So far, this is my favorite episode.

Smiley for a broken heart

My friend showed me a SMS from his girlfriend. 

It read : <3.

He asked me its meaning.

I said its a smiley for a broken heart.

Update: His girlfriend broke up with him.

Facebook and the Birthday Cards industry.

Facebook is killing the Birthday cards industry.

In the past two years, I have received only one birthday card.

And have sent none.

Facebook rocks.

Signs that the world is going to end in 2012

I brought a tomato soup today. Its going to expire in December 2012.

Whatever. The world is going to end after that.

This is one of the many signs that the world is really going to end on that date.